IMPORTANCE OF SEX IN MARRIAGE.

           It’s been a while, after my post on how you can make your marriage work out for you as a child of God, how has your relationship/marriage been? It’s good to know that we all share same vision in this marriage, and I thank God we have attained our goal of what the marriage stands for without beating about the bush unlike some other forums that are yet to know the purpose or aim of their group/ marriage ! All thanks to all you GOOD members with your positive & open minded thoughts & attitude. It really shows we are a big loving family here.

        My thoughts have been wondering for quite a while on the right timing for SEX TALK. I was waiting for our sense of belonging and right frame of mind to discuss this without offending any soul, at the same time playing on time for the forum to attain the right status on the goals and aims of marriage! 

          Thanks to pastor Sam Adeyemi for his boldness courage he has took in coming forward with this topic of SEX STRAIGHT TALK for discussion on the course of his introduction to the page he said and i quote " It is good to know that God created sex. since everything God created was very good, sex is very good as long as it is done within the context of marriage. We should know that it is our sinful nature that compels us to abuse sex but with the wisdom and power of God we can overcome temptation that if for the unmarried once". When am through with the reading of this book my orientation about Sex changed I now understand that Sex was among the beautiful things God created for man to enjoy his life But there is a clause, this clause is God condition for making sex BUT ON BED UNDEFILED God said Sex is good only when you are marriage than you can have sex with your wife that is the sample meaning of the BED UNDEFILED & your comments gave me the green light that the time is right for us learn one or two things on this subject.

           Let’s start with the definition of SEX as is commonly used- Sex is indeed a sexual intercourse of a genital contact, especially by the insertion of the penis into the vagina followed by orgasm, or simply coitus copulation. It is an attraction of both male and female expressing their love for each other in an amorous way. It is also a sacred feeling that needs mutual respect, consent & understanding between both parties. Different ideas and meaning come in handy even from the religious perspectives.

          Let us take today's briefing as what the importance of sex in relationship/marriage should look like! What do couples desire in each other? How do they manage their sexual relationship? Any hitch in the act between them both?

            Here are some points and eye opener for a healthy sexual relationship to your marriage.

1. Don’t be afraid of sexual ruts.

Let’s face it. There are going to be times when having sex will be difficult – when one of you is under stress, if you have a baby, if one of you just loses a bit of interest in sex for a while for whatever reason, when your in-laws are staying with you. That’s perfectly natural, and it does not mean the end of your marriage. "Sexuality ebbs and flows" It’s better to just accept that fact and not get caught up in the fact that you’re in a sexual rut. Don't buy into society's rules about what your sex life should be.

2. Keep the lines of communication open.

Neither one of you can read minds. Therefore, you have to talk to each other about your likes, dislikes, fears, and concerns. Sex gets better with intimacy, and you can only have intimacy if you speak to one another openly and honestly about anything that is on your mind. Sex talk can really improve your sex life and your marriage.

 3. Embrace the on-going discovery of each other.

The myth that the mystery is gone simply because you’re married is just that – a myth. You cannot possibly know everything about your husband or wife. Talking and having sex with each other will help you learn new things about your spouse’s body and personality.

 4. Be open to trying new things.

 Be creative and adventurous in the act, Teach and learn new things with each other. Take time to understand what excites both of you. Places and positions with some pep talk (DIRTY TALK is so good for a fun loving sexual intercourse) It can bring out a whole new pleasure that will add fun to your bed!

Important advice on this is- DO NOT BE SHY WITH EACH OTHER. If you are shy, you become rigid & you just freak out & believe me, you have just killed the excitement! We shall discuss on this on another topic. 

5. Sex toys, Erotic movies, Dirty talk, Romantic places & free mind are my recommendation for a happy healthy & exciting sex.

The two of you should be working together to define and create a fulfilling sex life for yourselves without worrying about how others define adventurous sex.

Remember that a sex manual is not in the bible.

You can pick up a sex manual or read about sex online if you’re curious. But sexuality is deeply personal. The goal of sex – what you and your husband or wife would like to get out of having sex – is decided by the two of you. The goal will probably change over time, and that’s decided by the two of you as well. No book can make these decisions for you. Only the two of you know what you need, why, when and how you two what’s it as husband and wife.

6. There are no frequency limits for rules.

If you and your partner are happy with having sex once a year, or twice a day then that is perfectly fine. There is no connection, between how much sex you have and your sexual happiness and health. Have sex once a year or once a day, whatever pleases the two of you. But if one of you wants more or less sex than the other, then you have to work things out together. It’s common to have different amounts of interest in sex, so don’t make yourself sick with worry about it.

            7. Keep in mind the benefits of marital sex.

         Although the benefits can also be drawbacks, consider them. As a married person, you don’t have to be concerned with the possibility of sex. You and your husband or wife has someone with whom to have sex, and it is up to you to make the time for it.

           By being with someone you love and trust, you can take your sexual relationship deeper and you are probably less fearful of taking risks. "Even if your husband or wife is freaked out by a sexual desire you've shared, he or she is probably not going to run away. Indeed, knowing your husband or wife -- and his or her body -- well can lead to different kinds of touch, the willingness to change sexual positions, and the desire to take more risks in general.

          Let me use this privilege to welcome & encourage your comments. Your criticism will be noted and welcomed as it will be acknowledged, at the same time motivate me to do more I promise to come your way again in more beautiful ways.

Courtesy: committee of friends forum.