The majority of couples who are going through a split could have saved their marriage through some simple communication. Luckily for you, you’re going to get that information right here that can save your marriage and make your bond stronger than ever.
Please understand that communication is the doorway to understanding.
Have you ever just thought to yourself, “I don’t UNDERSTAND why they
think/do/say those things!” If there were more communication in your
relationship you would start to understand.
This goes back to the issue of having different views about the world. We often don’t honor their view or even consider that theirs is different due to a lack of communication. If you open up those lines of communication you’ll start to understand where they are coming from. You’ll be able to view the world the way they view it whenever conflict arises. This is a powerful relationship saver!
Another aspect of communication that you need to understand is that it works both ways. Your relationship cannot be strong if one person is good at communicating, while the other person doesn’t even make an effort. Don’t get me wrong — you can still improve things on your end even if your partner isn’t currently willing to. But the strongest relationships will come as a result of both partners giving it their all.
2. Fully expressing your thoughts without place blame
3. Repeating/mirroring statements and asking for clarifications
The first thing you saw on the list was committing yourself. If you don’t commit yourself to better communication, you won’t see it through! We’re so used to “talking” about things that it can seem like it’s supposed to be totally natural to do so. The problem is, that it DOESN’T happen naturally. That’s where this active commitment comes in.
Then, you need to express your thoughts using a lot of “I” statements. If you start placing blame right away you are going to run into a lot of resistance and you’ll be back at square one. No, this does not mean you ignore it if your spouse does something wrong, it just means you should let them know how you feel about what they did rather than saying, “well, you did this, that, and the other.”
As you communicate with your partner they will hopefully open up and communicate with you as well. You need to really listen to what they are saying! Listening often means repeating things back to them that they’ve said. You’re not being a parrot, just mirroring back some things they’ve said. This will show them that you truly do understand and care, and they will trust you a lot more as a result.
This step also helps you get things clear in your own mind. Instead of jumping to conclusions and looking at things from your own worldview, you’re suddenly forced to look at it from theirs. This step does wonders in helping to improve communication.
This goes back to the issue of having different views about the world. We often don’t honor their view or even consider that theirs is different due to a lack of communication. If you open up those lines of communication you’ll start to understand where they are coming from. You’ll be able to view the world the way they view it whenever conflict arises. This is a powerful relationship saver!
Another aspect of communication that you need to understand is that it works both ways. Your relationship cannot be strong if one person is good at communicating, while the other person doesn’t even make an effort. Don’t get me wrong — you can still improve things on your end even if your partner isn’t currently willing to. But the strongest relationships will come as a result of both partners giving it their all.
The steps of good communication include:
1. Committing yourself to sharing as much as possible2. Fully expressing your thoughts without place blame
3. Repeating/mirroring statements and asking for clarifications
The first thing you saw on the list was committing yourself. If you don’t commit yourself to better communication, you won’t see it through! We’re so used to “talking” about things that it can seem like it’s supposed to be totally natural to do so. The problem is, that it DOESN’T happen naturally. That’s where this active commitment comes in.
Then, you need to express your thoughts using a lot of “I” statements. If you start placing blame right away you are going to run into a lot of resistance and you’ll be back at square one. No, this does not mean you ignore it if your spouse does something wrong, it just means you should let them know how you feel about what they did rather than saying, “well, you did this, that, and the other.”
As you communicate with your partner they will hopefully open up and communicate with you as well. You need to really listen to what they are saying! Listening often means repeating things back to them that they’ve said. You’re not being a parrot, just mirroring back some things they’ve said. This will show them that you truly do understand and care, and they will trust you a lot more as a result.
This step also helps you get things clear in your own mind. Instead of jumping to conclusions and looking at things from your own worldview, you’re suddenly forced to look at it from theirs. This step does wonders in helping to improve communication.
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